I’m here to tell you how to find your ~ACTUAL~ patron troll!
John Egbert was born April 13th, which actually makes him an Aries. But Aradia isn’t his patron troll, it’s Vriska.
April is the 4th month of the year, thus making his birthday 4-13 in those number date things.
Then, you smoosh all the numbers together, and create the number we all know and love! 413! Now put addition signs between each of the numbers. 4+1+3= 8. WOOOAHHH. Who’s the 8th sign in the Zodiac? VRISKA. Woah stallion!Next, Jade!
Her birthday is December 1st. Which is 12-2. And together 121. 1+2+2= 4. Who’s the fourth sign in the Zodiac? Cancer!! Thus Jade’s patron troll is Karkat.
December 3rd. 12-3. 123. 1+2+3= 6. Virgo is the sixth sign in the Zodiac. Thus, Kanaya is Rose’s patron troll.
December 4th. 12-4. 124. 1+2+4= 7. Libra is the seventh sign in the Zodiac. Thus, Terezi is Dave’s patron troll.
Woah stallion, did I just blow your mind? I hope so.
This also helps me remember all the kid’s birthdays.
Anyway, another example. My birthday is September 21, so 9-21, 921, 9+2+1=12. Thus my patron is Feferi.
Another note, you may get an answer OVER 12! Do not fret, the next step is pulling up your calculator and dividing the sum by 12. If the product is 1.5 or less, your patron is Aradia. If it’s 1.6 or higher, it’s Tavros. (At least, these are guidelines I go by.)
Anywayyy, thanks for reading. Just, the whole “I’m a Virgo thus my patron is Kanaya” thing is one of my pet peeves!
And for your reference:
1 - Aradia
2 - Tavros
3 - Sollux
4 - Karkat
5 - Nepeta
6 - Kanaya
7 - Terezi
8 - Vriska
9 - Equius
10 - Gamzee
11 - Eridan
12 - Feferi
my real patron troll is Eridan are u fuckin serious
I guess my real patron troll is Nepeta then (which is fine by me even though I do love Aradia)
Wow I’m a Scorpio and my “real” patron troll is Aradia
and if you knew me (especially with my god tier title) that is 23948234973% fitting like hoLY SHIT.
I’m a capricorn and my real patron troll is Terezi
I love TZ
Me: I think I’m just going to wing it when I make Russia’s coat.
Ryon: I think you should make it out of curtains, Iron curtains.
my dad came home from work with a 4hooftall stuffed banana
and i mean my dad’s a software engineer
so all in all this is highly suspicious
i asked my dad about the banana and
apparently every so often, the engineers pair up and do “paired programming” except there’s an odd number of engingeers
sosomeponygets paired with the banana